#i love just. Not touching actual writing for like at least a month. ive been planning and drawing and i forgot that i only do One

[pyrriax]

ok goodnight tumblr who wants to place bets on what i will actually finish tomorrow

[ankiebitez]

Can I request?

Avisos boys reacting to you/reader wearing their clothes. Could be their uniform, could be their casual clothing or sleepwear.

Would've added wearing their underwear (the clean ones ofc) but i hc that they go commando so 🤷‍♀️

I hope this lil request hasn't been done yet 😭😔

- 🦐

MC wearing avisos boys clothes

tags: gn!mc , nsft 🔞 , beelzebub stealing readers underwear/clothes for implied nsft purposes , beels scent kink , amons a mischievous little shit

note: im SO sorry this took so damn long ive had it mostly done for months but couldn't figure out how to write for stolas since there aint much for him lmao and then i just kept putting it off. i hope you like it though :>

Beelzebub

imagine trying on his clothes when you think he's gone, maybe he left a shirt or something and you decided to put it on out of curiosity, looking at yourself in the mirror when suddenly beel appears with a happy little smile seeing you in his stuff

coming up behind you and wrapping his arms around your waist, pressing his nose against the nape of your neck to inhale your scent mixed with his

"hmmm, i didnt know that you were such a thief..." he'd hum while letting his hands slide up under the shirt to touch your skin, looking up at you in the mirror with an even bigger grin

you can mention that he forgot the shirt and that you didn't steal it, or the countless times that he's swiped your underwear when you look away for a second, but he's not focused on that

he'd 100% fuck you while you're wearing the shirt and then take it with him, he'll leave you another one behind at least for you to wear so he can do the same thing again. what he does with the worn shirt is unmentioned, but he probably wouldn't wash it until he gets the next one or its gotten too dirty.

Bael

imagine wearing baels clothes and coming into his office, dude might actually put the paperwork down for a second

just a second though, he'll pull you into his lap to give you kisses before continuing, he'll probably let you sit in his lap while he does it

he thinks its adorable, especially if you wear something of his besides his uniform clothes. he'll like it more since its something not related to beel or his work

will hold you, sniff you, give you kisses and compliments while doing his work

if you'd like to actually get him to take a break though, wear nothing beneath his clothes

Amon

honestly he probably hid your regular clothes while you were changing so that you'd wear his, you'd turn around for a second and when you look back your clothes are gone and replaced with his. he's fast as fuck and definitely used it as a way to lure you into his room for cuddles, if you're mad and scold him thats just a bonus

he'd snatch you up and pull you into bed with him, either to snuggle or if you wanna punish him he wouldn't mind that either. would love it if you wore his shirt and rode him, maybe even cockwarm him afterwards too.

would also think its really cute if you didn't know it was him somehow. come into his room and ask for his help to find the thief, he'll pretend to help you look around which ultimately leads to yall fucking in some random area of the palace. 50% chance of it being stolas' or naberius' room just to piss them off bc he's a little shit and can't help it, he just thinks its too cute seeing you look around even though you're literally wearing his clothes.

if you ask him to wear his clothes, he'd think it's adorable and would let you wear whatever you wanted.

Naberius

not sure how to feel that a lot of this post is about scents but yea he would definitely be into that as well. he tries to act dignified but he can't help giving into his canine instincts, definitely likes that you have his scent on you now from his clothes

might wonder if this is a humans way of choosing a partner or something like a mating ritual, are you trying to seduce him???? he hadnt heard about this behavior for humans before.... but its working.

will indirectly encourage you to wear his clothes or take them more often and pretends to forget them in your room

he really likes it to say the least, i feel like he tries pretty hard to put up a very sophisticated and put together front, but in private he'll be cuddly and nuzzling against you while you're wearing his clothes. its very cute, call him a good boy too and he might get hard though

Stolas

feel like it might depend, he is short tempered so if its something like his crown he might think you're making fun of him which would Not be good

if its something like his coat though he'll probably get a huge ego boost, getting cocky immediately and bringing you to sit in his lap

im just imagining him having you sit on his lap in front of a mirror, his chin on your shoulder while his hands feel what's underneath the coat.

let's just say thats not an extra gun hidden in his pants, he's just very happy to see you in his clothes

[lace-coffin]

Hi im that person that asked for the stufed toy thing and oh my god i loved it so much i loved everything and onece your requests are open sorry im asking while they are shut i had this sudden idea for a request sorry😭😭 ive also kinda got 2 ideas soooo sorry😅

But like a reader that is obsessed with drawing and loved to draw cute and sweet drawings to give to asa to do with their hyper fixation or every time they are with him they start ranting to him about it or them i dont know but he would be so educated on their hyper fixation unless its bugs then he would already know everything haha

Or idea 2

The reader likes to lick things randomly for no particular reason they just like to do it or they love physical touch and cant get enough of it always cuddling with asa at night as close as they can and just imagine them cuddling and they just lick him then he just gets confused that would be so funny to imagine😭😭

Or the reader for the same type of thing as the plushie one but instead music to calm them down and they would have like a tiny crying fit for their headphones bc i have had alot of meltdowns over not having my headphones its crazy i love your writing so much hope u have a good day❤️

Asa Emory x Autistic!Gn!Reader with a new hyperfixation

Requests are open!

Hi I hope you like this! I totally crammed my last two fixations into this < 3

Call Asa old but he wasn’t exactly up to date on video games. He defiantly was now at least, not that he had much choice. You were always flipping between interests, intensely talking and interacting with one topic for weeks or months at a time and then switching to another that catches your interest. It’s been Sonic The Hedgehog for atleast 3 weeks now.

He didn’t exactly picture his desk to be filled with pictures of anthropomorphic hedgehogs but here he is, he kinda signed up for this when he stuffed you into the trunk, knowingly or not. As long as you’re happy then he’s happy, even if he thinks you’re spending a little too much time on that GameCube you begged him to bring to hotel..

A few weeks pass and it’s now the Saw franchise. Victims being “tested” in disgusting gory traps by a man that fancies himself to be god? This is more up to his speed..pun unintended.

A series of excited knocks sound from the door of your masters workroom. Stretching his taught shoulders and neck he takes inventory of his aching muscles, he supposes he can take a break to spend some time with his puppy. Slumping back in the chair and swinging it to face to door Asa calls you in. “Enter”

Keeping your eyes pinned to the floor until given further permission you enter the room, shuffling over to drop to your knees in front of your owner, waiting for the order. The currently unmasked man drinks in your appearance, oversized jumper falling to sit on your neatly pressed together thighs and the collar he places on you every morning slightly twisted, the tag not where it should be.

“Eyes up pet” he says firmly, snapping his fingers to emphasise the point. Jumping a little at the suddenness you snap your eyes up to meet a fond look on master’s face, you relax a little, letting out a sigh.

Shuffling to prop his chin up with his fist in interest, Asa continues.

“What can I do for you pet?”

Visibly perking up and practically vibrating on the wooden floor you push the paper into Asa’s face, defiantly too close, there’s no way he can actually see it like that. Realising this you settle to put it in his lap and stare back at him hopefully.

“I drew more pictures! I wanted you to see..” you reply a little shy, suddenly realising how loud and excitable you had been, insecurity creeping in. Asa recognises you shrinking in on yourself and tuts. “Can I see, cricket?” He adds softly, prompting you to show him what you’ve been working on, he never wants you to feel ashamed about you’re passions even if you’ve been taught in the past to ‘tone it down’

Asa wants all of you, he accepted that from the moment he hoisted you into the box, to the moments when he firmly settles the collar around your throat every morning.

Soft smile settling onto your face you hand over the paper, not ignoring the way your knuckles brush against your masters during the exchange.

You wait with baited breath as he looks the paper over, you know he would never say anything demeaning about your art but you can’t help feel a little anxiety when letting someone in on something special to you. Todays drawing is a rough sketch of your for a saw trap, it’s grisly and frankly disgusting, you don’t envy anyone that would end up strapped down and desperate on the other end of it. Obviously you have no need for a contraption like that, but it’s only an (admittedly) sick fantasy.

After flicking through the diagrams and reading the notes as best he can (it’s not your fault he can’t read you’re handwriting well 🙄) a strange look crosses his face..it’s almost like you can see the cogs working in his brain. this could either be fantastic or a disaster, Asa isn’t one to do things half assed, it’s always all or nothing.

“Can I use this?” The silence is suddenly broken, his sclera eyes raising to meet your own, not any less eerie than when hidden behind his mask.

A strange feeling begins to pool in your stomach, should you feel exited? Proud that he wants to use your plans? Or disgusted? Sick to your stomach that the plans you never envisioned actually coming to fruition will be used to torture some poor individual? Unsure how to feel or respond you stare back at him, lips slightly parted as if trying to muster something up.

“These are wonderful cricket, they may need a little tinkering to make them functional but regardless this design is…fascinating.” A sickly sweet smile sits on your masters lips as he hands the paper back to you, ruffling your hair and placing a chaste kiss to the crown of your head.

Stunned and with a pit in your stomach you nod dumbly, leaning into the affection and practically purring. The idea that you’ve just essentially sentenced someone to their painful and unethical demise is soul crushing…but also a little thrilling? Has your owner really rubbed off on you this much? It’s not like you don’t know what he does day in and day out but it’s never been this..personal.

Asa slaps his knees (like the old man he is) and rolls back over to the desk, pushing away his current projects and random hardware to make room for your (his) new trap.

“Can you bring me the paper please, doll?. I would like to get started as soon as possible.”

Shaking off the ever building dread you pull yourself up, a little unsteady due to the burning in your thighs from sitting in one position so long. Placing the paper on his desk you stare back at him, waiting for further instruction. you’re not sure when he ended up ingraining that response into your mind but at this point it’s not worth questioning, it’s not hard to see that the pair of you are living in your own little world outside of normal society by now.

“You’re welcome to either sit by me as I work and give input considering it’s you’re design or you may sit on your bed and wait for me to finish”

You glance over at the cushy pet bed across the room from Asa’s desk…a lay down does sound ideal right now, maybe a nap will help clear your head? Or swallow the guilt.

“I’m gonna lay down sir, maybe nap a little, promise I won’t snore and distract you” you tease, giggling and feeling a little better in yourself.

Asa huffs out a chuckle at your joke. “I’ll be sure you don’t little bug.” He says, smiling gently at you. You turn to leave before being stopped in your tracks.

“One more thing, pet”

Cool gloved hands slide around your neck making you shiver at the contact, the small misplaced silver tag is slid back into its original place, proudly stating your name and owner on the front like a brand.

“There we go, much better”

Blushing a little you thank your owner and wonder off to the dog bed, curling up and lazily watching him work from afar.

[askinkiskarma]

Illicit Affairs | Chapter VII: Hoax

Pairing: Neteyam x Human/Avatar!Reader

Chapter I Chapter II Chapter III Chapter IV Chapter V Chapter VI Chapter VIII Chapter IX Chapter X

Synopsis: Tensions erupt when Neteyam confronts you about something he saw. His secret comes out at the worst time, leaving you both in pieces. 

Warnings: (a little) smut (18+, Minors DNI), angst, mentions of blood mentions of death, injury, pills, pill addiction, opioid addiction, disease, cursing, some fluff + all the feels.

Word Count: 9,5k words (holy mother)

A/N: This is it, guys! Where tensions explode and secrets come come out, hearts are bound to be broken. I hope you enjoy this chapter, I put everything into it. I cried whilst writing it, I laughed whilst writing it, pretty sure I experienced the full spectrum of human emotions whilst doing this. Also, I have ignored my actual work to finish it, so if I fail my annual progression review, at least it would have been worth it. Let me know what you think, and as always, thank you for everyone who is reading is and asked to be tagged &lt;;3

"My only one, my kingdom come undone My broken drum, you have beaten my heart Don't want no other shade of blue, but you No other sadness in the world would do"

“There are perks with being an Omatikaya, you know? You can make your bow out of the wood of the Home Tree… and you can choose a mate.” 

Fuck. 

“Lo’ak… be serious.”

“I am serious, Angel. You’ve been in my life for as long as I can remember. You have always been the only one to see me for more than just a freak, or a fuck-up, or a disappointment. You see me.”

The younger Sully boy gently cupped you face in his hand; he was caressing your cheek with his thumb. Using a little force, he willed your face upwards so you could look up at his face; you were surprised to see the intensity in his eyes. 

You placed your hand on his arm, and you hoped by slowly massaging it, it would relax him enough to soften your following words. 

“Lo’ak… I do see you. You are an incredible person. You have been there for me my whole life, and I will be forever grateful to you. You have been the only one who constantly chose the dark stuffy lab to the beauty of this world because the labs had me in it, you were closest to my mum and she loved you like you were her own. I think you are the most amazing guy there is and I think your mate will be the luckiest girl there is. But that’s not me, Lo’ak. You know that can’t be me.”

His hand dropped from your face and both of his hands took yours in them, squeezing them ardently. 

“But it is you. It has to be you.” 

“Kehe (no). Lo’ak, you are my best friend. I am your best friend. I love you so much, and I know you love me too, but the love we have for each other is not the kind of love one needs to be mated for life.” 

You spoke softly, looking at him pleadingly, hoping that he would understand your words in the way that you intend them. You can see his gaze drop and form deflate, being replaced by a meek one, a shadow of his former self. 

“Oh… I see.” He was now turning his back to you, trying to leave without looking you in the eye. You were not going to let that happen.

“I’m not letting you leave.” You say, keeping his hands tightened in yours. “We will talk about this, and you will recognise I am right.” 

Neteyam was having trouble seeing as he was manoeuvring his way through the forest. He felt sick to his stomach and every heartbeat sent waves of hurt through his entire body, like shards of glass gutting him from inside out. How could his own brother do this? How could you do this? He has spent more than two months with you, every day, sending touches and glances your way that were begging to be seen, begging to be acknowledged. He secretly prayed that you would call him out on it, give him a reason to finally tell you that he’s loved you since he was 10 and yearned for your touch since the second his eyes fell on you again after a whole year apart. He wanted you to finally give him a reason to tell everyone to fuck off and let him finally live his life by his own rules, with you by his side. 

Neteyam was shaking with tempestuous fury at the unfairness of it all. Lo’ak will always get everything just handed to him on a silver platter, won’t he? Freedom, to make his own choices, to live his life as he wished, carelessly and devoid of any forethought or responsibility. And now he got you, the woman of his dreams - and nightmares - and the future he used to fantasise would one day be his. 

His legs were moving without any conscious input from his mind, and before long, he found himself on the way to the clearing you and him used to go to all the time. Your place, just for his and your eyes to see, just for his and your hearts to experience. As he was nearing, he heard soft sounds emerging from the spot, and he slowly, carefully approached with a bow at the ready and all his senses heightened. 

“We were in the backseat, drunk on something stronger than the drinks in the bar…

I rent a place on Cornelia Street, I say casually in the car…”

Soft strumming and the most beautiful voice he has ever heard, a voice that he would recognise anywhere, for the rest of time, made him drop the bow he was gripping tightly. That song, Neteyam thought with a wince, and let himself remember.

“This piece of heaven is our Cornelia Street.” 

“What’s Cornelia Street?”

“Well, it’s a place back on Earth where one of her houses used to be, but in this case, it’s a metaphor. Cornelia Street is to them what this clearing is to us.” 

A month before your 17th birthday is the last day Neteyam saw you. He was coming to say goodbye. You didn’t know that, and, in your enthusiasm at seeing him after such a long time because of his training, or so he told you, you suggested coming here. Neteyam remembers everything about that day. He didn’t sleep that night, cried himself to sleep quietly in his family’s tent thinking of the possibility of not seeing you again, for a long time, perhaps forever. He had decided that his mum was right. Being around you was hurting you both, and maybe by leaving, both of you could heal and move on. He wouldn’t have to live with causing you more pain than you already had to deal with, and you wouldn’t have to go outside, something that you were only doing for him, it seemed. It was a win-win, he thought, and yet his heart was torn apart, coming apart at the seams of wounds that barely healed. 

You were sitting on the ground, resting your back on a rock by the river bank, with the same guitar in your hands you have had since you were young. Neteyam thought he probably heard thousands of songs being played on that guitar, countless hours laying just like he was now, hearing you sing. He did not like humans, could not understand them, their world, their traditions, their beliefs, but watching you strum that guitar and singing about your love, a love neither of you could ever say out loud except in this way, he realised humans did some things right. Humanity did you right. 

“We were a fresh page on the desk, filling in the blanks as we go

As if the street lights pointed in an arrowhead, leading us home”

Neteyam watched you intently, and was trying to assimilate the lyrics as best he could, knowing this was always your preferred method of communication, knowing that through these songs you are confessing your true, buried desires. You looked at him as you sang, giving him a big smile.

“And I hope I never lose you, hope it never ends

I'd never walk Cornelia Street again

That's the kind of heartbreak time could never mend

I'd never walk Cornelia Street again”

A year and a half later, inhabiting a new body, you were not smiling anymore as you were playing this, the strumming on the guitar slower and more sorrowful, and your voice sounded hoarse, like you had been crying. Neteyam couldn’t believe that you would come here, in his and your secret place and sing the song you silently confessed your feelings to, after what he saw. He felt his anger poison his body, as his heart picked up pace and made his heartbeat ring painfully in his ears, muffling the sound of your voice. 

“I never did walk Cornelia Street again after that day, you know? I kept my promise.” 

Neteyam freezes in place, a shocked expression marring his features. You heard him, even with your back to him, even while playing and with the soft hum of the river to dull your senses, you knew. Felt him, his presence that charged this clearing like the air before lighting strike. He, however, does not seem to hear the hint of sadness in your voice, nor the sniffling that accompanies it. 

“It took me a while to figure out you weren’t going to come back. It did not dawn on me right away. I thought you were just training hard, as you had been for years at that point, I didn’t think anything of it. I only figured it out a month after I played you this song, when my birthday came and you didn’t show. I waited all day. Way past eclipse, way past the point everyone else was gone and sleeping peacefully, I waited. I didn’t sleep that night. I was afraid I was going to miss you and no one would be able to let you through the door. It never occurred to me you wouldn’t show - not until the dawn of the next day. That’s when it hit.”

“I remember singing you this song, I was terrified. I mean, we talked around it all of our lives, I sang you songs, and I read you poems, and you’d sleep in my bed and let me attach myself to you in a way no friend ever would. But this song, I thought, would be the one. The one that would make us finally have to talk through it. The night before, I had watched an episode of Gilmore Girls, right? And it’s that episode when Dean pitches up at Rory’s school after she drops him hints that she’s in love with him, and he gets mad for one reason or another and then she screams at him “I love you, you idiot!”. And he drops all the stuff he was holding and rushes to her and kisses her, like really kisses her. And I remember thinking, I’m going to sing you this song, and this will be my “I love you, you idiot” moment.”

Neteyam walked slowly towards your form that was still turned around from him, and felt two forces tugging at him, ripping him apart. On one hand, there was the rage, and jealousy, the monster that wanted to scream at you, to hurt you for breaking his heart without even acknowledging it. On the other, there was deep sadness and grief, for the new information that he is receiving, for knowing what this meant to you, what he did to you, how he left you the day that you confessed, how that only strengthened his resolve. He didn’t know which was going to win. 

“I never had any expectations. I was never delusional enough to think that you would ever choose me. But I did have dreams. And in the dreams, you told me you loved me too, and that whatever it was, we would always be able to work through it together. That day after my birthday, I felt like something ripped apart in me that I’ve never recovered from. I’ve lost so much of myself throughout the years, every time something new came up. I’ve been in pieces, broken and shattered, my whole life, and yet somehow you managed to walk away with the biggest piece. Because I could never put you in a drawer at the bottom of my desk, like all my other pieces. You were never truly gone, you were just far enough that I could never reach you, but near enough that I could never heal. I mourned you, mourned the me that you took with you, every day for months. Losing you broke me, Neteyam. You broke me. I will never forgive you for that night.”

“Well I guess we’re both fucking disappointed with each other then.” 

Neteyam saw you shoulders hunch even more than they were and your head bow towards the ground. You hand raised to your cheeks and wiped something off your face, before you finally stood up and and turned around, facing him. Neteyam’s breath caught in his throat at the new sight. Your eyes were puffy and red, and tears marked your cheeks, so pronounced it was as if they would stain your face forever. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

He felt his own tears threatening to spill then, pricking at his eyes painfully, begging to be released. There was so much pain inside of him, pain you caused him, pain for the hurt he knew he caused you, pain that felt like it will never diminish. 

“You’re sitting here, talking about that night and this song, in this place that once meant so much to us, after giving yourself to another man, to my fucking brother, and you want me to feel bad?”

He saw your face slowly register his words, as if you were mulling over every word carefully, turning it in your mind, and saw how your face went from sad to cold and unflinching and a shiver ran down his spine. You rose an eyebrow at him, an expression only he seemed to have the power to coax out of you. 

“What did you just say?” 

“You heard me. I saw you. I saw you in the forest, his hands all over you, I saw you running your hand up and down his arm. I’ve known he has been sneaking in your tent for weeks. What are you doing with my baby brother in your tent late at night, Y/N?”

FIVE STAGES OF GRIEF STAGE II: ANGER

“You honestly have some fucking nerve, Neteyam.” 

“You do not get to come here, come to this place, or any place for that matter and demand an explanation from me. I don’t owe you anything. You fucking left, Neteyam! We’re nothing to each other. Whatever claim or right you might have had once to ask anything of me or from me is long gone.” 

Neteyam stalked towards where you were standing, your words echoing in his mind. He was mad, mad at you for what you did, but also mad at himself. Because he knew you were right. He had no right to come here after abandoning you and the relationship you two had and be angry that you moved on. And yet he was. 

He was so close to you now he could feel your breath fanning over his face as you looked up at him, panting with anger, lips slightly opened. He couldn’t help look at them, those lips he has dreamed about for years, the way they’d feel on him, their taste… your taste. It was driving him insane, being so close to you, knowing what he knew. 

“Why? Why Lo’ak? You could have picked anyone else.”

You chuckled bitterly. “Really? So if I picked Akoa or Tärze, you wouldn’t be here right now, wouldn’t be mad and looking at me like somehow I betrayed you?” 

“Or is it possible it doesn’t actually matter who it is, it’s not the fact that it’s Lo’ak… it’s the fact it’s not you.” 

“You see, I think deep down you know it should have been you. I think deep down it kills you that you are not in my tent late at night. You’re not the one that gets to touch me.” he felt your hand place over his bare chest and run it down his abdomen until it reached his red loin cloth, which you slightly tugged at. He felt his cock twitch in response. 

You don’t know what came over you. You came here to mourn, still reeling after your conversation with Lo’ak. You never expected to see him here, hear his presence while you sang the song that once signified hope and love, and now is just a bitter reminder of all you’ve lost. You definitely never expected him to question you over Lo’ak, or be so angry over something that would never happen anyway. 

You were furious with him, furious that he never told you how he felt for you, and now he was clearly showing it to you by his displays of anger and jealousy. This was not how this was supposed to go. 

You felt a sick satisfaction at his demeanour. You made him like this, this angry, nose flared and panted breaths, you had this power over him. Just the thought of you with another man drove him to this point, and you loved it. He deserved it, deserves much worse. 

“You should leave, Neteyam.”

You started turning your back to him, but he took hold of your arm and kept you in place forcefully. His other hand went to your neck, and you felt him wrapping his hand around it and squeezing. 

“No.” 

You were shocked at his actions, and even more shocked at the immediate reaction your body had to him. You felt throbbing deep within you, and squeezed your thighs tightly together to accommodate for the feeling. 

“I’m not leaving until you tell me. Did you fuck my brother, Atan (light)?” 

He was still squeezing your throat, and you felt your pulse quickening when he moved and took a hold of you jaw, forcing you to look in his eyes. He looked mad, sad, desperate for an answer that would either mend or break him. You felt his intense stare in every cell in your body and felt yourself clench around nothing. 

You wanted to lie, wanted to see him suffer at least some of the hurt he’s caused you. But you couldn’t, not with how he was looking at you, not with how he was holding you. 

“Fuck you, Neteyam. I would never do that. Fuck you for thinking for a second that something like would ever even cross my mi-“

It wasn’t possible for you to finish the sentence, as his lips roughly slammed against yours, and you immediately, as if your body needed no input from your mind, raised your hands to the circle around his neck, pushing him closer to you. 

You moaned into the kiss, and the sound removed any ounce of sanity or self-discipline from his being, and he opened his mouth to deepen the kiss and slide his tongue over your bottom lip, begging for permission. 

He felt his hand drop back around your throat, squeezing, loving the feel of your quickened pulse, knowing he was responsible for it, for your swollen lips and dilated pupils, for the way you were squeezing your thighs together. You were his, to love, to touch, to do whatever he wanted to. 

He was so hard now, his loincloth was constricting around him painfully, and he knew if he kept going, he was not going to able to stop himself until you were writhing underneath him, until he made you beg and scream his name over and over, all night long. 

“Pathfinder, this is Devil Dog, come in, over.” 

Fuck. 

Your body ached at the loss of contact, as Neteyam removed his hand from around your throat and his lips from your own. He was panting, and tried to steady himself before he touched the little button on the radio on his neck, sighing deeply. 

“I’m here, Devil Dog. What’s your post? Over.” 

You turned your back to him, and took a few steps towards the river, trying to compose yourself. What the fuck did I just do? This was bad, for so many reasons, it was making you dizzy just counting them all. You couldn’t hear what Jake was saying to Neteyam, but it couldn’t have been good, it was very rare Jake would use the radio to communicate with his kids, you’ve only seen it once when there was a hunting accident that needed everyone’s attention. 

“You need to get back to the village, now. We have a situation. If Y/N is with you, bring her back, too. Over and out.” 

Shit, this can’t be good, Neteyam thought to himself. He looked over at you and saw you turned your back to him, hiding. You were good at that, pretending, denying, avoiding. Pushing your feelings aside was your favourite defence mechanism, had been ever since your mum died. 

His eyes softened and he felt stupid for having doubted you, for spending so many weeks losing sleep over something that never even happened. Guilt also immediately pooled in his gut from the kiss, the confession, the implications of it, all of which things he would have to deal with sooner or later. The horror at the thought of the consequences of his actions made his skin crawl, but he didn’t have too much time to dwell on it, knowing his dad expected them to hurry.

“Hey… we have to get back, dad said to meet him in the village.”

You nodded weakly in his direction, and started making your way towards the village. Once again, he found himself having to clasp your arm by your wrist and turn you around so you could face him. You refused to look at him, so he cupped your face in his hand and raised you head gently so you could look at him. His thumb was ghosting over your lips, that were still swollen and when his eyes met yours, he saw a sadness so deep it made Pandora’s oceans feel like shallow pools. 

“We need to talk, properly talk.” 

You just nodded silently and removed his hand from your face, and the last thing he saw was your back, walking away. 

You were deep in thought as you arrived in the village, and were pulled out of your musings when you saw a big commotion happening all around you. You have never seen the village like this.

There was a crowd of people by the big bonfire, so that’s where you and Neteyam figured to look first. 

“…and no matter what comes next, we will stand and fight, together!” You heard big screams and ululating as Jake’s voice boomed throughout the village, above all the noise. 

You saw Norm and Max, all the humans and avatars on the right of the Olo’yektan. On his left stood Mo’at, Neytiri and all their children, plus Spider. Lo’ak was screaming and beating his chest, whilst Kiri looked concerned, and Tuk was almost crying, with a tight grip on her mum’s hand. You made your way through the mass of people, reaching the foot of the large tree stump acting like a platform. Jake spotted you and helped you up, and you saw Neteyam following you from the corner of your eye. 

Since the speech was done, people started dissipating, and Jake turned his attention to the pair of you. 

“Last night, Neytiri and I spotted a star in the night sky that shone brighter than it ever had before.” 

Panic rose in your chest at his words, words that you knew could only mean one thing. “The humans are returning.” you said, meekly. 

Jake nodded in your direction with anger flashing across his face, before he composed himself. 

“We knew this day was coming, but it is definitely different when it is finally happening than the image you had in your head.” you heard Norm pitch in from somewhere behind Jake. 

“How long?” Neteyam asked. 

“About a week?” Max said, and the man with such a kind and gentle face was scared, you realised sadly. Everyone was scared. 

“Fuck.” Neteyam’s face was unreadable. The war he trained all his life for was finally on his doorstep. 

“I need you to complete your Iknimaya before then. Tomorrow, you will go perform your first kill. You are more than ready. It’s time. When the humans come, I need you with me. With us.”

You couldn’t swallow the lump that has formed in your throat enough to speak, so you just nodded. You were not ready. The last time you were on an Ikran, you almost died. You felt the phantom pain on your left leg flare up, and you were terrified at the prospect of another flashback triggering as you were fighting for your life on top of the Hallelujah mountains, trying to make the bond. 

The crowd eventually dispersed and everybody went back to their homes. There was a heaviness in the air, no smiles or singing tonight, no communal dinner where people animatedly exchange stories and anecdotes; you saw Na’vi hugging their loved ones, keeping them close at all times, as if letting go would mean letting go forever. The war was upon you, and with it, the possibility of loss and grief settled in the bones of every one of the villagers. 

You felt sick to your stomach. A shiver ran through your entire body, and, at the weakness that enveloped your being suddenly, you knew the effects of all the pills you took to mitigate your symptoms have worn off. The dizziness you felt was more than just a weak headache you could ride out, but a sign your human body was fighting to maintain the neurolink inside the pod. You didn’t have much time. 

“I’m gonna go to bed. See you all tomorrow.” You needed to be in your tent when you passed out, otherwise it would raise suspicion immediately and you couldn’t afford that. 

“Hey, you can’t leave. We still need to talk.” Neteyam said, lightly tugging at your arm. 

“Not today, Neteyam.” You removed your limb from his grasp and left without giving him a second look. 

You were pulled out of the linkpod quite violently by your own body recoiling in agony. You felt a stupid ping of gratefulness at the fact that, although due to horrible news, at least no one was in the lab or adjacent hubs at the current moment. You struggled to get up, and found the walk back to your room excruciating, like no matter how much you walked, it was not anywhere in sight. When you arrived, you went straight to the bathroom and barely managed to make it to the toilet before throwing up, your body violently convulsing in on itself, trying to expel everything from your body. You haven’t had a proper meal in this body in months, so all your body was managing to get rid of was bile, bitter and acidic on your tongue. 

When you were done, you pushed your body weakly towards the sink, and gargled the bad taste away with some water and mouth wash. You peered up at the mirror, and were alarmed by the face that met your gaze. You barely recognised yourself. Your face looked ghastly, the palest you have ever been, the hollows of your cheeks looking like pits of shadows and darkness. 

Your under-eye bags gave away how little sleep you were actually functioning under, how little rest you actually got in the last few months. You looked truly sick, although you didn’t know how much of that was the virus and how much it was just you… ignoring your body like you ignored everything that you had to work through, everything that required healing and spiritual effort, and trading it for a easy-to-digest fantasy.

You made your way towards your bed limply and was comforted by the bottles of pills you saw on your bedside table, that will provide fleeting relief. You passed out on the bed soon after, happy that the suffering could be over for at least some hours. 

You woke up a couple of hours before dawn, with a raging fever and chills running up and down your spine, and instead of struggling back to sleep, you got up slowly and put some clothes on, making your way towards the labs. Today was an important day, and you needed to be focused for it, you couldn’t afford the same thing as yesterday take place. In the medical ward, you scrambled in the drawers until you found what you were searching for. The holy grail, injectable morphine. You hastily grabbed a syringe and a needle, measured out the amount needed, shook the syringe to remove any air bubbles, and directed it to your arm, where you injected it in your vein. Placebo effect or not, you felt immediate relief, and you knew this would put you through the day. 

Norm came to the linkpod to help with the neurolink, and he gave you a worried look as he watched you settle in. 

“I think you should be taking a break from this.”

“Are you serious right now? The humans are literally circling the atmosphere as we speak, I can’t afford to take breaks now, you know this.”

“What I know is that you look about a week away from collapsing in my arms, and your Avatar won’t work without you, Ace. You’re always in the village, and you don’t sleep. You’re always running experiments when you are here. Look, I love your enthusiasm, and I love that you’ve finally getting outside and enjoying your life, but there’s also too much of a good thing.” 

You were started to feel anger pick at your brain, much like the virus you were carrying with you everywhere you went. 

“You made this for me. You made me this Avatar. You guilt tripped me into taking it. Now you’re unhappy I’m using the Avatar. Why don’t you make up your mind and let me know, Norm? In the meantime, I have to go.”

You lay in the on the pod and placed the metal frame on top of your body, and you couldn’t miss the tear that fell on Norm’s face as he closed the lid of the pod. 

It was still before dawn when your consciousness woke up in the blue body you’ve come to love so much, and you couldn’t help feel immense guilt at the words you spat at Norm. He doesn’t deserve any of this; he has been a surrogate uncle for you ever since you were born. He made you an Avatar, he built you a guitar. He helped you go outside and live your life, he was always there for you if you needed to talk, or vent. He has always believed in you, in your capacity to help, to do good, to overcome your grief. You would have to apologise to him come nighttime. 

You saw Jake make his way to you as you opened the flap to your tent. “Hi, kid.” Tensions were running high, you could tell, as Jake did not smile or make light conversation, as he always tended to do. He would always take the time to check in, to make sure you are doing well, which you appreciated massively. You loved having him and the rest of the family around. It felt like you belonged, for the first time in your life. 

“So you, Neteyam, Akoa and Heesu will go and they will watch you perform your first kill. Early tomorrow, we will go take the Iknimaya, and then you will be able to join Neteyam on raids and scouting. How’s that sound?”

“Sounds good, boss.” You saw him crack a tiny smile at that, and felt better you could still make him smile, even in these circumstances.

Neteyam came out of the tent looking… so good it made your mouth fill with saliva. He was holding his bow tightly in his hands, and he was adorning new jewellery, you noted. A beautiful black necklace, filled with beads and impressive craftsmanship, his red and green cummerbund tightly wrapped around his ribcage, and his knife tucked on his hip, all came together to bring about Neteyam Te Sulli Tsyeyk’itan, the future leader of the Omaticaya. But what really drew your eye, was a bracelet. A green bracelet that he kept around his arm, whose every bead and stone was imprinted in your mind, for the rest of time. Why was he wearing that bracelet, why now? What was he trying to tell you?

Neteyam found his gaze drawn to the girl next to his dad, the only girl that existed, as far as he was concerned. He barely slept last night thinking of you, of that kiss, of your confession, of the song, and he knew he had to make it right sooner rather than later. The humans were coming, not one of them knew what their lives were going to look like in a few weeks, and there was so much to set straight, the thought made him nauseated again. He had to tell you. Your eyes found his and he saw many emotions passing through them, and was happy to see at least one of them was passion, and yearning. You looked at him like you wanted to do things Eywa would disapprove of, and he felt himself twitch in pain for what felt like the millionth time recently. 

Neteyam led the pack away from the village and towards the forest where you would have to make your first kill. He had no doubt in his mind you would do well, he honestly doesn’t know why it has taken so long to do it to begin with. You’ve been ready for weeks. After stalking quietly through the forest for a couple of hours, you found a herd of Yerik. Neteyam closed his gap on you and placed a hand on your back, smiling to himself at the way you shuddered when he did. 

“You’ve got this. We’ve been through this and you are ready. Remember, keep a knee on the ground for support. Good luck.”

You nodded without looking at him, eyes plastered on one of the animals peacefully grazing on a bush. He saw you, focused and determined, aiming the arrow with precision and power, and he knew then you were made for this. You were made to be here, as one of the people, you were meant to be Na’vi. 

You made quick work of the kill, and immediately got up from your crouched stance and made your way to the now fatally injured Yerik. You removed your knife from where it was placed on your chest, and repeated the words he taught you weeks ago. “Oel ngati kameie, ma tsmukan, ulte ngaru seiyi irayo (I See you, Brother, and thank you). Ngari hu Eywa salew tirea, tokx 'ì'awn slu Na'viyä hapxì (Your spirit goes with Eywa, your body stays behind to become part of the People).”

Perfect, just like he knew you would do. You were nervous, he noted, but you also seemed happy to have finally done it, after all this time training. All four of you made your way back to the village, the two men accompanying you carrying the animal by its legs. Neteyam wanted to talk to you, wanted to get you alone so he can finally tell you all the things he had to say, that he needed to say, the secret that has plagued him for weeks and that drove a wedge between him and his baby brother. Unfortunately, it seems like the universe fated you to never be alone with him again. Right after you arrived at the village, Jake took all of you to gun practice and through strategy meetings about how to plan an attack once the Sky People decelerated. Those lasted the whole day, and before he knew it, you left to your tent again, leaving him to deal with his dad on his own. 

“Neteyam. Stay, I want to talk to you.”

“Yes, Senpul (dad)?”

“Did you tell her yet?” 

“Not yet. I’m trying to find some time, but it seems like we are never together alone anymore.”

Neteyam saw his dad sighing heavily and was scared for the hell he knew would rain down on him sooner or later.

“Neteyam, you have to tell her. You have asked us to keep your secret, and we have. We have all participated in this, and I am getting tired of lying for you. The kids don’t want to lie to her anymore, your mother doesn’t want for this to be a secret anymore. She deserves to know.” 

“You will tell her by the end of the week, or I will.” 

Your body convulsed as your mind woke up in your human form, and you tried to hide it as best as you could so whoever was helping you get disconnected wouldn’t notice. To your disappointment, it was Max. 

“Hey, sweetheart. How was it today?”

“Good, made the first kill. Going up the Iknimaya tomorrow, which can’t say I am particularly excited about.” 

“Oh, honey, you shouldn’t worry about it. It’s going to be completely different than that dreadful day. You are going to be able to control it, you will be connected to it. Plus Toruk has never been spotted this close to the banshee rookery, so there will be nothing making your Ikran nervous.”

“Yeah, guess you are right.” You said, not wanting to tell Max that rationalising it doesn’t achieve anything except making you feel stupid for being scared. “Where’s Norm?”

Max looked agitated for a second, but tried to compose himself enough to appear nonchalant about the subject. “Um, I think he’s in his room, he told me he wants to read this book he still hasn’t gotten around to, if you can believe that. He's been here for almost 19 years, you’d think there’s be nothing new to do here anymore.” 

You hoped you weren’t as bad a liar as seemingly everyone you have come across recently, otherwise your illness is not as much of a secret as you’d hoped. 

“He told you.”

“Yeah…” 

“I was such a dick. I have to apologise. I’ll go find him.”

“Maybe give him some time? He looked really upset, and I think he just needs to lick his wounds by himself for a while.”

“I didn’t mean it, Max. I am just tired and stressed because of the Iknimaya and the humans returning, not that that’s any excuse.” 

“I know, honey. He will be alright, just give it time. Time heals everything.”

You could only pray that was the case, for Norm….and for yourself.

You woke up the next morning groggy, feeling sick from your illness and sick from all the pills you ingested last night. If this was starting to be a problem, it was a problem you were gonna have to deal with later. Pandora’s box can hold a couple more issues for the time being. You made your way quietly to the medical ward and found the morphine vial you used yesterday. Withdrawing a few more millilitres, you injected yourself in the arm with it, instant relief flooding your system. You sighed happily and thought this was probably the closest you’ve ever gotten to feeling euphoric. 

Your Avatar body looked ready to tackle the Iknimaya, in all new garbs and a new necklace that Kiri made for you recently, as well as Lo’ak’s visors. Tuk and Neytiri were braiding your hair fresh, so you were all ready to go by the end of the eclipse. Feeling how nervous you were, Neytiri put her hand on your heart, and looked into your eyes and she placed the last feather in your hair. 

“It will be alright, ma 'ite. You have done better than any other Dream Walker ever has. Even better than the Toruk Makto. I know you are scared because of what happened in the past, but you have grown so much since then. You are such a special child, a gift from Eywa. There’s light in you no darkness can snuff out, and you were made to be one of us. Do not worry.” 

You let out a small cry and hugged the woman that could have been your mother in these 9 years after you lost your own, who has loved you and protected you every chance she got, that wanted to take you in the village and raise you as one of the people, but who you pushed away out of fear, out of terror at the possibility of more loss, more pain. She never held a grudge, she never turned her back on you, even after shunning them from your life, she understood you and welcomed you back with open arms as soon as you felt ready to join them. She saw you. You will never be able to repay her kindness.

“We’ll be with you. Kiri and I will fly and bring Tuk on one of our Ikrans. Spider, Lo’ak, Neteyam and Jake will come on their Pa’li with you and make the climb. It will be good practice for them. We all want to celebrate with you. We can all join you on your first flight, so this way it will be less scary.” 

You were fully crying in the crook of her neck now, unable to believe the luck you had to having been born somewhere where the Sullys existed at the same time. There was a lot of pain in your life, but this family would always be your good karma, it seemed. 

The climb was the most excruciating thing you have ever had to do. Every muscle in your body was pushed to its limits, and you were beginning to wonder how you were supposed to fight a huge animal after all of this. You understand now this is why this was the ultimate test of becoming a hunter, and why there were not many hunters in the Omatikaya. The thought brought a gust of confidence to your mind - you were doing this. You. You’ve gotten so far, further than any scientist on Pandora ever has. You grew up in a lab with severe agoraphobia and unsolved trauma and you still made it here. You will do this, because you have to. Because you’ve come so far. 

It was taking every ounce of discipline to not continuously stop and stare at the beauty of the Hallelujah mountains, that you have heard so much about, but never experienced for yourself, and you realised you needed to swallow often to compensate for the dryness you felt from your mouth being stuck agape in awe at the beauteous miracle. 

You found yourself peering up at Neteyam frequently throughout the climb, and thoughts about yesterday made your already drugged-out mind even airier. There was so much to think about, so much to talk about, but you couldn’t handle it right now. You couldn’t handle the consequences of that kiss and the hurt that would inevitably emerge from your star-crossed fate. You were dying. Although you didn’t want to think about it, didn’t want to acknowledge the reality that your body was falling apart in front of you, it was happening. You probably had another couple of weeks before your heart gave out from all the strain the virus was putting on your whole body, just like it happened with all the other victims. 

As if he could feel you, Neteyam turned around and gave you a nervous look. You wondered what he thought of everything, how he felt. Was he happy about the kiss? Did he regret it? In his defence, he has been wanting to talk to you for days and you avoided him, unable to deal with him at the moment. He will just have to be another trinket in the Pandora’s box until you finished the Iknimaya. Making it to a large suspended boulder before you, he stretched out a strong arm for you, and you took it, happy to have at least some physical contact between you. His touch has always calmed your nerves, from when you were children, and now, as adults, that still hasn’t changed. 

He didn’t let go once you climbed next to him. Taking advantage of the fact you two were the last to climb, he took hold of your arm with one hand, and placed the other on your face, cupping it gently. His thumb found its way to your lips again, caressing them softly and you felt intoxicated from his touch. He brought his face close to yours and brought your foreheads together, breathing you in. You stood like this, staring at each other for a while, and it was like all the words you wanted to say to each other were spoken wordlessly. I love you. I see you. I’m sorry. 

“Are you guys coming or what?” You heard Spider screaming from a higher up boulder, and you reluctantly let go. He squeezed your arm one more time, and then motioned for you to climb in front of him. You weren’t far off now, you realised, and felt your heart picking up pace in your ribcage. 

Soon enough, you were there. You could hear thousands of banshees screaming and cooing, and you thought it was mirroring your internal dialogue quite well, loud and incoherent. Neteyam held a hand in front of your body as you made your way across a narrow ledge behind a waterfall, that connected the cave to the banshee nest. 

“Ok, kid. This is it. Are you ready?” Jake began speaking and you were trying to focus on him instead of the panicked feeling rising in your chest. 

As you were preparing to respond, you heard loud ululating from the sky, and immediately saw two beautiful banshees making their way to the mountain and settling in the cave you just left behind. You smiled at the view, excited that Neytiri, Kiri and Tuk could make it in time. They followed you to the nest and you brought your curled fingers to your forehead, greeting them warmly. I see you.

“Good luck, sister! I cannot wait to fly with you!” Tuk’s enthusiasm never failed to bring a wide smile to your face. 

You looked around at all the people who have travelled so far to come and be with you on this day. Your family, for all intents and purposes. You felt tears coming, but pushed them away with a sigh, trying to toughen your resolve. You gave one last look to Lo’ak, who was watching you sadly, the pain from yesterday still fresh in both your minds. You loved him so much, and hoped he would be able to forgive you in time. You touched his gift, now resting on your forehead, and gave him a grateful smile and a wink. He cracked a small grin and you knew then that your relationship wasn’t totally in ruins. 

“This is it, Atan. Now you must choose your Ikran. If it also chooses you, move quick, like I’ve showed you. You will have one chance. I will be behind you in case you need any help. Please don’t fall off a cliff, I don’t think my heart could take it again.” 

You laughed a little at his attempt of diffusing a situation. It wasn’t his best attribute. 

“Ok then, let’s dance.” 

Neteyam watched as you made your way through the Ikrans, and how they all flew away in fear at your sight - beautiful banshees that made him miss his own and reminisce about his own Iknimaya. You looked ready - powerful and confident, like you have always belonged here, with them. You were swinging your yìmkxa (mouth binder) and approaching each Ikran forcefully, hissing at them to hopefully provoke the right one. Eventually, a big banshee, bigger than his and most others he’s seen around, turns around to face you and does not remove itself from your path in the same way all the others had. It is a beautiful animal, white and gold with purple and pink wings and green stripes on its head, it looked different than any other in the village. Fitting, he thought. This was it.

He heard a loud hiss coming from where you were stood. The Ikran hissed back wildly and charged towards you. His heart was getting ready to exit his body at its speed and power, and he was panting in fear and anticipation, ready to jump in at any moment’s notice, in case you needed it. He saw you remove yourself quickly, skilfully, out of the animal’s way and wrap the yìmkxa around its mouth. Good, first step done. 

You then took a hold of your queue and jumped on the Ikran’s back, placing your thighs around its neck and squeezing with all of your might. The Ikran wrung its neck in an attempt to escape you, but you worked on this for months preparing for this day - you were not letting go. Neteyam saw the banshee make its way towards the edge of a cliff, and you wrapped the arm that wasn’t holding the queue around its neck for more support. 

Neteyam felt like he was going to pass out from the stress, and saw the next moments happen in slow motion, just like almost 7 years ago when you fell mid flight: the ikran managing to drop off the cliff, his wailing scream and immediate desire to join you, the hands of his mother and father wrapping around him keeping him in place, his own ikran dropping from a cliff at the sound of his call, him removing his parents’ hands forcefully and running towards his banshee, scrapping his arm painfully on the rock and the stabbing throb that followed, the feeling of a fresh injury and blood spilling down his arm, and yet still, no other thoughts in his mind than the need to save you, to right his past wrongs. 

He makes the bond quickly and before anyone could stop him, he’s in the air, flying around the rock and beneath it, trying to see where you could be. He was shocked to find you still on your ikran, holding for dear life while the animal was flying upside down, shaking itself furiously to get rid of you. He saw you drop the arm you were using to hold on to it, only managing to hold on by the strength in your thighs, and connected the queues with a loud yell.

“STOP!” He heard you scream. “TURN AROUND, NOW!” 

He couldn’t believe his eyes. You made your Tsaheylu, upside down, mid-flight. He watched as the banshee turned around and made its way back to where his family was, and he still had no words he could say to explain or describe what he was feeling in that moment. It was beyond words. He felt his arm twitching painfully and he quickly looked at it and saw the deep scratch that was leaking blood and staining his loincloth where his arm was laying. 

You did it. You actually did it. This little prick came at you with all her might and you still held on to her. You learnt a lesson or two from riding a banshee as a 13 year old defenceless human, and the most important lesson was: hold on for dear life. Good to see it came in handy. You also made it a point to thank Neteyam for making you hang upside down in trees to shoot down targets, you can see now it helped. You landed at the base of the rookery and watched as every one of your family members was smiling and yelling, cheering loudly for your accomplishment. They looked so happy, and you couldn’t help shed a small tear and the sight. 

These were your people, for the remainder of this short life, and you were happy you got to do this before you went. Happy you got to see them together, for you. You looked around at Neteyam and couldn’t see him, but then heard a loud, excited yelp from behind you. He looked so happy and proud, your heart swelled at the sight. This man would be the death of you, you knew. You loved him so much, and you knew it was time, time to talk through it. 

“First flight seals the bond.” he screams over the noise of the banshees and the waterfall. “Let’s go.”

The entire family called for their ikrans, and in less than a minute, you were airborne. You told your banshee to fly gently and straight, and held on tightly to her neck while you tried to adjust to all these new overwhelming emotions. The feeling of flying was incredible, so much more so than you remembered. Maybe because this time you were in control. The feeling of the Tsaheylu... Lo’ak was right, it was so much stronger than the Pa’li, the connection you had with this animal. You knew you were bonded for life, shared a kinship and bond no one could break until one of you died, maybe even after. The feeling of belonging, as you watched 5 other ikran fly alongside yours and help you through your first of many adventures in the sky. You felt grateful and happy to have made it so far before the inevitable end.

You made it at the village soon after eclipse, laughing and dancing while you walked back, hand in hand with Kiri who was rolling her eyes at you but joining in anyway. Tuk was holding your other hand, and you lifted her up and carried her all the way back while she played with your braids. 

As you arrived to your tent, you saw the rest of the family go into their own, with the promise you’d join after dropping all of your stuff. Neteyam stayed behind, closing his distance to you and only stopping when he was so close to you his chin was touching your forehead. It was only then you saw his arm, dried blood spilt everywhere and marring his beautiful blue stripes. His loincloth was also red, you noted, and saw the gash that was the culprit, high on his arm, still red and bleeding, although not enough to justify this much blood. It must have been bleeding for a while.

“What the hell happened to you?!” You said with a panicked voice.

“It’s nothing, don’t worry about it.” 

You raised and eyebrow at him and rolled you eyes, and pulled him to your tent by his uninjured arm. 

“Sit. I will clean and stitch it and then we can go for dinner.” 

He did as he was told, quietly sitting on the ground while you gathered supplies: some gauze, disinfectant, numbing cream, stitches and a needle driver, as well as some forceps and scissors. He squirmed at the sight, and you rolled your eyes again.

“You drive me crazy when you roll your eyes at me, you know? I would kill to be the reason your eyes roll in the back of your head at night.”

You blushed at his words, and sat next to him on the ground.

“You have to stop, Neteyam. We can’t do this again.”

You turned your focus on his wound, and began cleaning it slowly so as to not injure him further. 

“I can’t stop, Atan. I can’t think of anything else. I have so much I want to say to you, so much I need to get off my chest.”

He sounded sad, desperate for you to hear him out, his eyes pleading and pained. 

“How about we talk, after dinner? This time, you can be the one sneaking in my tent late at night.” you said sarcastically, not having forgotten his outburst from earlier and realising you were still angry at him for it. 

“Yes, please.” 

You sat in silence the rest of the time, as you worked with skilled, focused hands. You stitched his wound carefully, so as to not leave him with a scar. When you finished, you smiled up at him, and reached your hand to touch his face, moving a strand of beaded hair from it and pushing it behind his ear. He was so, so beautiful. He brought a hand to your chin and was pulling you closer, when someone entered the tent without making their presence known, making you both jolt back in shock. It was a girl. You’ve seen her before in the village, she was a healer in training. Beautiful and skilled, she was a good singer and a good craftswoman, making a lot of the clothes the Na’vi hunters wore. 

“Oh, Great Mother, here you are! Your mother told me about your injury, and I had to come find you so I could help!” She kneeled down on the other side of Neteyam from where you were sitting and touched Neteyam’s chest, moving him around looking for the bleed, that was no longer there. 

“Oh, it seems much better now than what was described. I guess it’s true what they say, you really are that skilled.” She turned her attention to you and smiled. 

“Thank you. I don’t think we’ve properly met.”

“You’re right, my bad! I’m Tiongli. Neteyam’s mate.” 

It was so quiet in the room now, you were sure they could both hear your heart break into a million pieces. 

Tag list: @nuhteyam @eywas-heir @fanboyluvr @mashiromochi @puffb4ll @sassy-persona @simp4ff @mommyneytiri @k----a27s

[sleepy0s]

just walkin

EVO!Taurtis: Accidentally indulged in too much ‘free time’, turns out I’ve been reported missing for over six months and presumed dead by most local and national authorities.

Soooo heyy… I had like major writers block :> so ive sat myself down and forced myself to write. ^This is short.

Shapeshifter G (Not important) + Goes by Xelqua.

282 words

~~~

Taurtis was.. Confused to say the least. Who were these strangers on the server? Why was Xelqua sobbing into his shoulder? Actually. Why were all his friends crying? He had just been for a walk?

“Guys- what's going on?” He asked, patting Xelqua on the back in a comforting way. “And also.. Who are the new guys?” He meant the hermits. Who were staring at him in a weird way.

“Taurtis- You’ve been missing for six months!” Pearl responded, wiping away her own tears. 

Wait what? No he hadn’t. He’s pretty sure he would know if he had been missing- which he hadn’t. “What- what are you on about? I was just going for a walk?” He stammered out, rubbing his head with the hand that wasn’t comforting his partner. He swears it had only been an hour. 

…

Three hours later.

…

Okay. So, Taurtis can’t really explain himself. Apparently, he had taken the whole “Go touch grass” thing a bit too seriously.. And had fallen asleep? Comatose? Whatever. He had passed out in the woods and the whole server thought he was dead. Yippee…?

He's not sure how to feel about it all.. But for now he will just console the exhausted avian in his lap. After all, his partner had been worried sick for the past few months.

~~~

The hermits are so confused. They had all seen the photos grian had in his base of the black haired boy that always wore headphones. But that boy was Japanese, Etho had confirmed that for them.  So why was the replica of Grians past love currently on Evo sleeping with  a short, blonde elf looking avian that most certainly wasn't Grian?

[muirmarie]

mcspirk month mYEAR planning post

idk if anyone likes these (these being planning posts), but here, it feels weird to have it tucked away in my notes when my BTHB and mcspirk bingo planning posts are on here, so. anywho. you know the drill: this is just me rambling, feel free to ignore!!

the bolded are those i still don't have a plan for <3 - as per my usual these are all tos unless otherwise noted

Day 1: Forced Proximity (“this isn’t a blessing,” mccoy hisses. “one day,” the king says, “you’ll see that is it.” - the one where spock and kirk cannot get more than an arm's length away from mccoy for 30 days w/o causing him debilitating pain)

Day 2: Touch-starved (spock and kirk cuddle mccoy out of touch starvation - this is like 75% done, I just need to finish it)

Day 3: Only One Bed (established mckirk to mcspirk. um. very nsfw. by far the most nsfw i’ve ever even considered writing lmao. currently sitting at almost 12k, probably will be around 15-17k all told. i don't even know how to describe this. kirk aggressively helping spock play gay chicken with mccoy until mccoy finally believes spock wants both of them, idk.)

Day 4: Hand Holding (maybe the one where spock & kirk slowly gaslight mccoy into holding hands with them - yes the tags are spones but i am very certain kirk would be very happy to gaslight mccoy into hand-holding as well)

Day 5: [hurt comfort or against a wall (no story planned)]

Day 6: Protective McCoy (no story planned *eta - actually i think i am going to take the one elian assigned me w/o even asking me lmao, where mccoy drinks the poison meant for kirk, but don't tell him that)

Day 7: Hand Kink (the one where spock is cucked w/ hand sex lmao)

Day 8: Public Display of Affection (would you still love and/or employ me if i was a worm?)

Day 9: Spock is a Hopeless Romantic (the flirty spock one probably?)

Day 10: [Hands or a bonus (no story planned)]

Day 11: Fuck or Die (vulcan sex magic hanahaki, this is, like. I have elements of it, but it’s not nailed down yet quite how it works. it's a vulcan disease but naturally mccoy's the one who gets it.)

Day 12: Aliens Made them Do It (the plato’s stepchildren one - i've been poking at this one since. like. january lmao. it's maybe 30% done, but it's not gonna be super long, i'm just slow with it. it is. hm. not a fluffy story. the platonians decide that mccoy simply needs to learn to say yes to them. how helpful they have spock and kirk around to help underscore the point.)

Day 13: [time loop or sex in a three way body swap or a bonus (no story planned, BUT do I really wanna write another time loop fic and/or can I really handle writing another smut fic lmao. If I did do time loop tho it would be the one where Kirk refuses to leave the time loop until he can solve the no-win scenario, i just don’t know how that goes yet. The sex in a three way body swap would be the AOS mcspirkura one, probably. Or the tos spones to mcspirk one. idk idk.)]

Day 14: Tarsus IV (kirk: i always knew i’d die alone. this is....jim character study, i think? I do need to come up w/ a happy (or at least: not sad) ending for it tho. So I’m still Thinking about this one.)

Day 15: Fake Dating (the one where the royal is trying to marry mccoy in order to keep him, and spock and kirk independently decide to fake date him to save him. also sarek loves trashy romance books. background uhura/scotty.)

Day 16: Lost the Ability to Speak (bones and uhura signing in federation common sign language - yes that's vague but all i need is something to center around tbh)

Day 17: McCoy Hurt w/ Spock & Kirk Comfort (this is like 95% of what i write lmao but i don’t have a specific plot yet)

Day 18: [Jealous Bones OR Oral Fixation (no story planned but it it’s jealousy it’s not gonna be traditional jealousy, bc I’m generally not a fan of jealousy storylines (unless all parties are unaware that they’re jealous - those I find VERY funny)]

Day 19: [Kirk is Missing, Presumed Dead or a bonus - probably a bonus (no story planned)]

Day 20: Accidental Voyeurism (okay the one where mccoy wakes up and his arm is trapped underneath kirk’s head and spock’s holding that hand as he’s laying on top of kirk and making out with him. I will have to find a plot tho. a reason. a Reason. It’s not established spirk either)

Day 21: Bondage (heh established spirk discovering mccoy’s penchant for getting tied up and/or tying others up and then literally not able to shut up about their platonic friends private habits for like a solid three months. they only care platonically of course. you don’t need those other ppl to tie you up bones you’ve got us. this one’s about 10% started.)

Day 22: Mirrorverse (mirrorverse katra sharing, it’s a whole thing, this is out of my wheelhouse but i have some Ideas, but this one isn’t going to be anytime soon)

Day 23: [reunion or teasing or a bonus (no story planned) - *eta actually for teasing i could maybe do the one where spock conducts an "experiment" in a private lab where he has mccoy & kirk work on a project for him while he gets extremely handsy w/ them - he's doing a study ("study" - they're all aware this is just spock's ideal version of foreplay) about human arousal in a working environment, and they're supposed to not let him distract them*]

Day 24: Temporary Blindness (this is going to be such a long messy mccoy whump story tbh. orpheus and eurydice part two. before i can even really start it tho i have to decide on pov, because that….really affects things for this one. but i mostly know how the story goes. also not anytime soon tho, maybe not even this year)

Day 25: Praise Kink (i COULD go temporary awkward ability if i don’t want to write anything too sexy, but the planned version is, like, kirk blossoms like a bashful babe and spock is genuinely moved when it comes to praise, but mccoy turns bright red and wants them to stop? BUT they like so much the way he flushes and struggles to accept the praise that they ask him to be good for them because THEY like it, and so he’s absolutely mortified but still? allows it for them? and they of course like it because they want to make him accept it.)

Day 26: Expectations vs Reality (counseling fic! The one where spock and kirk are dating but still somehow drag mccoy to their relationship counseling.)

Day 27: Vacation Gone Awry (no story planned) (*eta actually i think i'm changing this to Voyeurism and stretching that to make it work for the spirk - they keep coming up w/ weird sex injuries until they can finally convince mccoy to come over to help them figure out what they're doing wrong....he probably needs to watch....actually maybe hands on is better....actually maybe he just needs to stay forever*)

Day 28: Awkward Spock (checking for pulse over the liver instead of the wrist because he forgets where human hearts are when jim or leonard is hurt)

Day 29: Getting Interrupted (mcspirk sexy 3d chess - that’s right they’re interrupting mccoy’s WORK lmao)

Day 30: Desperate Measures (the enemy within one that’s 80% finished where kirk’s wolf and sheep sides both have to have sex w/ mccoy while spock melds with them both, all for very important science reasons - don’t worry about it.)

Day 31: Insecurity (*eta - mccoy gets out of a LDR and is bummed, and kirk tries to cheer him up by putting his name up for the underground "sexiest starfleet officer" bracket that scotty & uhura are running, to prove to mccoy that ppl find him attractive. unfortunately it turns out the crew finds him VERY attractive, kirk is having some jealously-related revelations, spock is gonna kill jim if he has to watch mccoy get asked out one more time, and mcco is yay close to having a nervous breakdown from being turned into a sex symbol*)

Bonus 1: nightmares (look this is fucked, just trust me this is a very messy thing and it is very fucked and i have to make all my maths fit together before i write it or it will feel too flimsy and fall apart, but. kirk's trapped in a nightmare by a parasite that bleeds into the waking world (there are reasons for it) that cause physical damage to mccoy. spock melds w/ kirk to try to change the dream. this has unexpected side effects. - this one WILL be written for mcspirk month i just don't know what day i'm replacing yet.)

Bonus 2: pet names (i think i might be able to fit the kiss me/fuck me fic into this prompt but i’m not 100% sure yet - aka the one where mccoy & kirk use “kiss me” as a SFW swear for “fuck me” and “don’t make me kiss you” as a SFW swear for “fuck you” and annoy everyone around them w/ this silly in joke until one time mccoy says “kiss me” w/o thinking to spock, and spock’s just. hmm. don’t mind if i do. and kirk thinks it’s so funny he starts kissing mccoy all the time as WELL. very pre-them even realizing they want a relationship (except for spock, spock has Plans, thank you). this will be written at SOME point, it depends if i need another bonus/if it fits the prompt enough.)

Other bonuses i’d consider if i need them, but no stories planned: blindfolds, misuse of the bond, uhura helps them out.

Other vague stories i have that i could rotate until they might fit a prompt: pacific rim au, space forgetties, [number]+1 of mccoy getting kissed awake/the +1 getting kissed to shut him up, spock going through the wringer re: mccoy getting hurt (that was written spones but could easily by mcspirk), empath era katra au, post-empath spock won't stop touching mccoy, katra transfer requires a kiss, this isn’t even all of them, it genuinely is absurd how many tag spirals i’ve written like this lmaoooo /sigh 

[greghatecrimes]

It's kind of insane how much being 'sick' takes over your entire life (or tries to). I actually have a meta I want to write on how House (the show) really touches on that with House and his chronic pain, and Thirteen and her Huntington's. Chronic illness has done many things to my life over the past six months, and interestingly one of them is it's given me a new lens to see this show through (specifically b/c it has main characters who are disabled/deal w a chronic illness). So this rewatch is really interesting. I know I'm gonna have soooo many big feelings when I get to season four. I already just had so many with the tritter arc and One Day, One Room (I have a bunch of scenes I screencapped from 3.10-3.14 that I'm gonna edit and post tomorrow hopefully! Screencapping is so fun, I love seeing the tiny details in the emotions.)

also in other news i know ive had a hard time keeping up with dms (tumblr AND discord) and asks recently. if we're friends or mutuals and i haven't reached out in a while, I so want to, I really miss my friends lots. I've just been swamped at work and with trying to get better. I officially filed for ada accomodations at my job and hopefully that will make my life at least a little easier. And I think my body braid is helping make a dent in my day to day pain which rocks.

and finally i have discovered the hard way... that it seems like... caffeine can cause mast cell flareups (at least for me) 🫠🫠🫠 if anyone needs me i'll be mourning /hj

[hotelraleigh]

love the echoes n equilibrium series....just a few qs...ahh...

(1) when did harvey fall for the farmer? was it a oh they're hot thing or just over time this intense sort of need to care for them given all the shit they get up to. the farmer is so interior and i love them but i wont lie ive been soooo curious about harvey's perspective in those first few months of the farmer fucking around and finding out

(2) in the whole situationship leading up to the confession, has harvey ever had thoughts on like...fully moving on, given how much it's clear he wants farmer in a way that doesn't seem reciprocated at the time?

(3) has he ever jacked off to them...

thank you for your questions!!

1) man i wanna write another harvey pov now bc y'all are giving me such rich qs to think about. it was definitely a slowburn for harvey - as i wrote, harvey himself was confused and surprised by his strong reaction to the farmer (scolding her for carelessness, etc) bc it was out of character for him. And while I do believe harvey is actually someone pretty in touch with their own emotions (rational, for sure, but also deeply empathetic), I also think it's been a minute since he felt such strong attraction to someone and thus wasn't able to clock it immediately (particularly bc it was simultaneously wrapped up in real concern, frustration, etc). the way i wrote his pov in part 1, he was an incredibly career-oriented man, sometimes at the expense of relationships. so this was new, this was exciting (in a strange way), and he almost definitely had an oh fuck moment after months and spiraled about the ethics and legality of it all.

2) oof i love this question. So i think there's 2 parts to this. First, as kind of stated above, I think he is slightly out of depth when it comes to his feelings for the farmer. Not that he's not aware of them, but rather the intensity. I think he is an intellectualizer at times, so he is explaining away the intensity, at least for now. Second, and this came up in a previous ask, but I also think he's dealing with some self-esteem stuff, so he is really banking on the idea that this is all I deserve so why would I give it up. I'll take what I can get cause I'm not gonna get it again, kinda thing. (This will def come up in future pieces.)

3) YUP. And you KNOW he felt sooooo guilty afterwards he couldn't look the farmer in the eyes for days lmfaoooooo

[ibusukiss]

Boueibu Rewatch

Thursday's for the Boys! 4

Season 1 - Episodes 10-12

Episode 10

MEGAWA!!! my favorite side character!!!! I was still deep in love with Free! when this came out so Nagisa's VA showing up was super exciting

i have always been fascinated by the heat pack(?) HANGER that Gora has...is that a jp thing?

tbh...i like megane yumoto more than normal yumoto ^^;

kinchan doesnt give a f abt yumoto's good manners

atsu are u saying a cold is a gateway drug to mental illness...?

The Door!!! Ohhhh how many smut fics ive started writing over the years have hinged (no pun intended) upon that door being there

AKU MADE KOUHAI TOSHITE!!

unrelated to the episode but when this was airing i was taking an 8am class and an asynch-online class and id come home on tuesday after my 8am and Forbid myself from watching the new ep until i was done with my online class homework. i think it posted on CR at 10 or 11am PST? mannnn, community college schedule, i miss you T_T

ok was the blast from ryuu's love stick Very penis shaped or am i just dirty minded :O

megawaXentirebaseballteam fic when

"we were all waiting for you bc we cant say some bullshit about love ourselves" or smthn

Episode 11

i REALLY dont remember this ep

is this the only time wombat calls them 'missionaries of love'? that deffo has a different connotation...

Ryuu youre so wrong thai curry is the best

kinchan's trauma is curry-scented

actually insane what this whole plot ended up being about

BAKA PAWA

glad yumoto supports gora's kink exploration

deffo the biggest stretch for a transformation all season

wow its so funny that student just know there's weird magical boys with blurry faces around

KINCHAAAAAAN DARK AURITE!!!!!!! ICONICCCCC

such a choice for them to find out who the other team is at the Very End

io has his priorities

god i love how petty this whole thing is

aaaaa them referencing back Atsu and En's fight!!!

gora's brocon senses tingling

man i just love the evil student council trope

Episode 12

FINALEEE

there really is an element of Surveillance and Privacy that couldnt easily been touched on more here, Kinchan's reaction skims the surface of it, but it could be So Much More (the theme of my feelings about this show in general)

my question is...is Boueibu the real show, the same show all the aliens watched?

NANDATTE

WOW i completely forgot Gora was a monster

kabuki rule is deffo my favorite 4th wall break here haha

akorima together here was So Important to me

Akoya PUNCHHHHH!!

oh he says akoya here too :D

that tiny akorima conversation fed me for MONTHS

THIS KINATSU MOMENT!!!!

moa betta rabu meikingu was such a choice

my thesis is that LOVE is scifi and HK is fantasy

aaaaaaa i have watch just thiw kinchqn moment more than anything else in this ep lol

did they imply hireashi banged his supervisor?

my gf is watching with me and she says hireashi belongs on adult swim lmao

hhhrhrrr akoya with his hair up is so cuuute

____

that was season 1!!! this show genuinely changed my life, i owe it so much happiness and joy throughout all these years <3

(Fair warning to all who are reading this - season 2 is my least favorite by far so i am gonna probably be more critical of it than s1 or s3. if you love s2 and dont wanna read me bitching about it, i get it! no need to read it lol lets just say i am looking forward to when we get to HK :P but im sure thats not a surprise)

[idealspawn]

hey..... i must say. this has been the best week of my life. and im filled with utter joy. ive had like a.. rebirth? every once in a while i feel like im born again. the transition is really emotional but they are moreso growing pains than destructive pains. im suddenly surrounded by so many great people and possibilities and i finally feel like life is rewarding me, treating me the way i should be treated. in a way im reluctant to owe it to "faith" and see myself as a passive subject rather than an active agent in this but in a way i think i am powerless in some factors regarding this change. next month its my debut in like a culture (?) newspaper! at least they said they are very interested in my analysis but i havent heard back yet about the second version i sent them. i wrote my favourite poem ive ever written. and ive seen so many movies recently that have served as this transitional border. like as this extremely active sphere of both "death" but also birth. like metaphorically. ive been so vulnerable and i love it. ive cried my eyes out like i havent in such a long time and done like... meta analyses about my underlying beliefs to bring change and new energy into my life. you see.. i get really stuck on like.. nominal labels. at first they describe me but it tends to go unnoticed when it no longer fits or serves me and im only living a certain way just because of this nominal structure. but all these nominal structures are made for us. not that we are made to fit them. ive re-evaluated things now.. also out of nowhere people have been reaching out to me. maybe it truly does show up in my energy when im more open. like that it attracts other open, honest, vulnerable people. ive met so many new people and truly felt seen. this is a big thing for me. for the longest time ive struggled to enjoy time with people because ive struggled to find people who i share some kinds of values. i like diverse people but for example people who are open to explore communication on an emotional and relational level rather than only informational. thats important to me. ive been more confident in sharing my opinions too:) and participating in class and in life. going to places where i know id feel a bit uncomfortable and end up surprised. going to places alone is massive for me. it opens me up to new people and experiences because i simply dont have a choice to close myself off with friends im already close with. a woman came to talk to me after a lecture. she said she had been watching how i take notes in class (i write really fast.. i tend to transcribe literally everything the professor says). she said she has studied palaeography and asked to see my notes to analyse my handwriting :) she said its very unusual for people to still write in cursive if they write with the pen very much pointed upwards, however i manage to do so :D. it really made me want to also just reach out to people... like whenever and for whatever reason. and ive noticed people actually like talking to you when youre authentic and awkward. ive restricted my communication with people SO MUCH only due to the fact that i feel like i might not be insanely flawless in my self-expression. the nature too. the season is such that i see birth and death all around me. and its very refreshing. i like seeing change and being reminded of it constantly. it feels liberating. its a season that many people dislike in my country but im in love. i love people. i love physical touch. i love eye contact. i love emotions. i love ideas. i love agency in breaking boundaries. i love feeling seen and important and useful. i love authenticity and vulnerability.

[underratedandoverit]

You, Me, Tonight

~1,6k words chuck taylor/kip sabian

i wrote this like a month ago, ive just been struggling with thoughts about my writing to really make the effort to actually post it, but since today is a bit better day mentally about these things, here you go. its been on ao3 anyways so i might as well slap it up here too finally, for anyone who cares

theres just something very cute about kip taking the initiative but also struggling to understand if his feelings are reciprocated, at least to me. i dont know, i might write a follow up to this, who knows. i just have a lot of thoughts about the morning after, as would kip so. let me know if thats any interest

on ao3

@midnightpretenders0 @stormbornpirate @ss-trashboat

---------------------------

Falling on his stomach onto the hotel bed, Kip let out a sigh, hand patting around to find another for him to hold. As soon as his landed on what he was looking for, his fingers interlaced together with the others, gathering a quick glance from Chuck as he looked away from his phone, sending Kip a soft smile.

“You haven’t been able to keep your hands to yourself today,” he chuckled, watching a soft blush creep up on Kip’s face as the Brit just smiled back at him, his free hand brushing over his face to try to hide his embarrassment of being called out by his actions. “Something up?”

“Just thinking,” Kip muttered, giving a soft squeeze to Chuck’s hand, eyes landing on it as a smile continued to graze his lips. Chuck was right though, Kip had had a really hard time staying away from him and every chance he had, Kip was there holding onto him, hanging onto his arm, hugging him, kissing him, holding his hand, what have you. Even on the drive back to the hotel after the show Kip had barely stopped holding his hand, touching his arm, his leg, letting his fingers travel around in his hair, the likes.

“Dangerous for you to be thinking,” Chuck smiled at him softly, lifting their hands up to press a little kiss on the back of Kip’s. “If I didn’t know better, I wouldn’t think any of it.”

Kip wanted to laugh at him, but he just couldn’t. After all, Chuck was right; whenever he was thinking, it usually didn’t mean a lot of good things for them, even Kip had to admit that. And he definitely had had a lot of time to think tonight… About a lot of things.

Kip carefully shook his hand free from Chuck’s hold, the brunet watching him carefully, curiously as Kip reached his hand towards him, wrapping a few coils of his hair around his fingers. Chuck didn’t stop him, just watched, feeling Kip’s hand slowly sliding away from his hair, fingertips dancing down along the side of his face, gently cupping his cheek.

“I just haven’t stopped thinking about how much I love you.”

Chuck’s cheeks flushed red, eyes suddenly averting Kip, the Brit just smiling at him as he sat up on the bed, leaning closer to press his lips against Chuck’s. He returned the gesture, still not looking back at Kip as he remained close after breaking the kiss apart, just observing every single detail of Chuck’s face, as if he was trying to commit them to memory.

“You’re just so beautiful,” Kip mumbled, pressing another kiss on his lips as he moved on the bed to straddle Chuck’s lap. The phone from his hand was instantly discarded to the side as his hands moved to wrap around Kip’s waist, pulling him closer, eyes finally landing back on him as the Brit let out a soft chuckle as both of his hands cupped Chuck’s cheeks. “I’m so lucky to have you right here.”

Chuck didn’t have time to respond as Kip kissed him again, stealing the words from his mouth with ease. Chuck’s hands traveled up his back, slipping into his hair, allowing him to deepen the kiss as Kip moaned against the touch, lips parting just enough for Chuck to be able to take advantage of the situation. Maybe they hadn’t been doing this for a long time together yet, but Kip was extremely easy to read and learn what kind of things he liked, and Chuck had been quietly keeping track of what he enjoyed, especially when put in situations like this.

“You are so amazing,” Kip moaned between the kisses, hands slipping away from Chuck’s face and down his chest, making their way under his hoodie. Chuck shuddered a little against the touch of his cold fingertips traveling up his body against the bare skin, Kip hands steadily landing on his chest before he pulled away from the kiss, again stopping to merely observe Chuck as he was trying to catch his breath after the intense kiss.

“Chuck…” His voice trailed off as soon as Chuck’s eyes opened and landed onto him, Kip biting his lip as he was trying to find the words in his head to explain the things he had been thinking throughout the day. The feelings he had bubbling inside him. The things…

The things had wanted to do right now, his hands on Chuck’s chest, fingers curling gently to cup it better, pushing him against the backboard of the hotel bed.

Oh the things he wanted to do. So badly.

The only problem was that Kip didn’t know if Chuck wanted the same things. If he wanted to do this, now, tonight, ever. Was he too eager to try to get to this point of the relationship, and how would Chuck react to it all? Kip had tried to give him little hints through affection all day, which Chuck had clearly noticed, but he still wasn’t sure if the brunet had the full correct idea on what Kip was after with everything.

Them sitting around and making out like this wasn’t anything unusual at this point in time, and Kip did enjoy where everything was and how steady it all was…

But maybe he was craving just a little bit more than that already.

Chuck was just looking at him, clearly expecting, waiting to see what his next move was. He hadn’t pushed Kip away yet though, which seemed like a win, as Kip was clearly already pushing this over the usual boundaries. His fingers tapped against Chuck’s chest, sending a visible shiver down his spine.

“Is,” Kip finally spoke up again, this time it being his turn to avoid eye contact with Chuck, “is this okay? I-I mean --”

“Do you want to do this?” Kip was almost startled by the question cutting him off, but the little smile on Chuck’s lips calmed him down instantly. Feeling Chuck’s hand carefully play around with coils of his hair, Kip nodded. “Then it’s okay. You’re fine.”

Kip wasn’t sure if Chuck understood what he was really asking, but he leaned closer, burying his face into the crook of the brunet’s neck, pressing a soft kiss against the skin before he allowed his mind to just wander, to all the things he had thought about before. Kip could feel his hands traveling under Chuck’s hoodie without his control, mapping out his skin and exploring on their own, trying to find all his favorite spots.

He could feel Chuck’s hands sliding away from his hair, gently tucking the back of the neckline of his shirt. Kip was hesitant to comply, not being sure if he wanted to take his hands off of Chuck, but as the brunet repeated the gesture Kip leaned away, hands sliding out of his hoodie, following the silent instructions as he helped Chuck pull the shirt off of him.

“And you tell me I’m beautiful,” Chuck muttered, hands running up and down Kip’s sides, admiring the toned body he had revealed. Kip’s cheeks flushed red again, his breathing slightly tightening, heartbeat echoing in his head as he felt his skin burning against that touch. Usually he was okay with it, it didn’t make him feel like this when Chuck held his hand or hugged him close, cuddling or any type of intimate contact didn’t make him feel like this.

It was slowly driving him insane.

Chuck’s hand moved to Kip’s arm, tracing down along the images on his arm, the tattoo sleeve Chuck knew he was so proud of. His eyes followed the animal visuals carefully, counting the number of birds, trailing along the horns of the deer, all the way down to Kip’s hand where the tattoo ended. All the while, as if time around his froze, Kip was trying to hold himself together, each brush of Chuck’s skin against his own just pushing him more and more towards the edge.

As Chuck’s hand reached his, Kip grabbed a hold of it, leaning in and pinning it against the headboard behind the brunet. Chuck just looked at him, the soft gentle smile still on his face as Kip stared back at him wide eyed, clearly having a hard time dealing with all of this; the thoughts swimming in his head, the wants and needs he couldn’t push away no matter how hard he tried, the desires he was trying to resist not knowing if he was doing the right thing on acting on all of them tonight.

“You said you wanted to do this, right?”

Kip couldn’t form words, his voice getting lost in his throat, only managing a small nod of his head. Chuck mirrored the gesture back at him, the smile never leaving his face as his free hand slid down Kip’s side, onto his thigh. Kip so desperately wanted to look down to it, to confirm that it was indeed Chuck’s hand there, and he wasn’t just imagining it, that his mind wasn’t playing a cruel trick on him by using his own hands once again, but he only managed to keep the eye contact with him. Kip registered the movement of the hand through the thick canvas of his jeans, first familiar and almost comforting, slowly sliding to a more unfamiliar territory, along his inner thigh.

Not having it in him to resist the urge, Kip rolled his hips, just enough to erupt a whining moan out of him as the movement closed the gap between Chuck’s hand and where he desperately wanted it to be as it got close enough.

Kip could hear Chuck humming at him as Kip’s eyes fluttered shut, the Brit leaning closer to silence the brunet with a kiss as he could feel Chuck’s hand carefully reaching forward, starting to unbuckle his belt.

[n7punk]

The way you post here makes it sound like you post as you write, but you update so often I refuse to believe you don’t have an archive of half completed works you return to and end up finishing. So I guess the question is, what’s your structure for completing a fic? Do you have an idea and execute it entirely, or do you have works that you’ve started writing and then returned to after a few months of inactivity?

(This is basically me just being in awe of your talents and being nosey about how your creative process works)

oh once i start i CANNOT stop or i will not come back. i post everything as i write it, at least when it comes to long projects. i'm usually a chapter or two ahead in my rough drafts from what has been edited and posted, but otherwise yeah i'm writing these in real time. i mean i've been consistently updating for three years except for the few months i took off last year to work on novels instead so idk when i would have built up a backlog lol.

the one exception to this is short fics/one shots. rn i have ten "wips" (outside of CotC) that are all one shots except for two - a 3-4 chapter OotW fic i wrote halfway and... havent come back to but SWEAR i will because i love it, and a multi-chapter AU i wrote the first scene for, realized i wasn't in the headspace for based on the quality it turned out in lmao, and am waiting to come back around to. basically, i can write like... 5k and come back, but i wouldn't do it for longer fics. i started a novel last year, got 25k in, and have not touched it in the year since which is really frustrating because i love those characters.

for CotC specifically, i've just been fucking feral for this idea and written 93k for it just this month. I'm actually writing the 13th fic right now due to that, which is why im posting daily (and occasionally twice a day lol). in general ive just been really into my AUs lately and it has made it easier to write them fast.

it isn't unusual for me to get an au idea and outline a few scenes for it while working on something else, but we're talking like 1-3 and maybe writing a few sentence summary of the rest of the ideas i have for it, and then i can start writing with that once my current project is finished, but those outlines are usually just straight up dialogue with an occasional (crosses arms) or (turns away) thrown in for tone.

[shuxiii]

merry christmas shu!!! 🤶🎄🦌☃️⭐🎁🎅🛷🥛🍪🌰

I just wanted to write something a bit more meaningful since it's christmas and I guess it's an appropriate day to say all of these things hahajahs

well first things first I wanted to wish you and your loved ones a wonderful and happy christmas!! I hope you get to enjoy this day to the fullest, eat the most yummy food and make great memories for the years to come!! I also hope that whatever traditions you and your loved ones have on christmas fills your heart full of that warmth and coziness only the joy of them can bring 😊

now buckle up because the cheesy words have only begun 😅

I'll try to keep it simple but I wanted to thank you for just being you and for gracing us with your incredible and heart-touching stories

I know I've only been an anon for a month or so now but I've been following you and reading your works for longer than that. I won't go much into detail because this is supposed to be happy and light but I was going through some stuff a few years back that I couldn't even write like I used to as a hobby (and coping mechanism) or even read stuff anymore. I actually haven't been using tumblr for almost two years before downloading it again this year. and then I discovered your blog pretty early on after being back again over here. I was already much better at the time but I was still taking my time with everything, but when I began reading your works it helped me more than I could've imagined. I was laughing, and feeling genuinely scared the characters wouldn't end up together and many other stuff and all of that was bringing such an immense comfort to me I was even shocked myself and so much so it even inspired me to write again! I managed to finish sixteen stories this year, which is like my biggest record ever because I would only manage to actually complete two or three per year. and it's all thanks to your amazing and inspiring work!!

you're also the first person I've send an ask to in all of my years here. I'm used to only reading silently while the authors interact with their readers but you're always so funny and light and the more I saw your interactions with everyone else the more I wanted to at least send in one ask to say how much I love your stuff. and when I did, you have always been so kind to me I couldn't help but keep coming back! it helped me get just a tiny bit more communicative in my life and I can say I've been better a jokes too because I swear you and your anons are so funny I've been keeping notes hahajahsjak

I feel like I said too much but didn't say much at all aaaaahdjdj, but I just wanted to thank you for being this amazing person and keep sharing with us your wonderful stories because you might not know, but they help people a lot. they're very entertaining and comforting and you're very kind and funny too 😊

so thank you for existing shu <3

I don't want this to be overwhelmingly long and I'm in the middle of nowhere, the reception here is horrible I'm scared this might not even send in on time 😅

so once again merry christmas shu!!! I hope your day is very happy and you enjoy it to the fullest!!

bye bye shu <3

- 🥟

I kid you not im sorry for the late reply because i was having a sad time in christmas so i couldn’t express my gratefulness to your ask but im so happy and this actually made me cry so much like i was crying out loud im so happy that i was ur inspiration and all ive never been so proud and happy LIKE i know i may say so little but this means more than the words i could ever describe and im sorry if it seems like i don’t appreciate it much but i really do! Thank you my dumpling 🙁🙁🙁mwa mwa love you!!

[thatsneakymedic]

October Writing Challenge Day 11 Blood

Pouring the extra blood in a new bag, he looks behind the anemic person who was in a dire need of it, the blood bag despite Kabuto accidentally tearing the corner of the plastic an hour ago. It was still new since blood bags that have been unlocked are still fresh after 24 hours so Kabuto got to work quickly to get it ready for transfusion.

"Sorry about the little spill, but it's nothing to worry about. Your treatment will go as planned. And if you're uncomfortable with this, I can go use another bag. It'll still be the same." Kabuto said with a calm voice as the woman on the seat waits for him to get the blood ready.

"It's fine. Blood is blood, and even if it is bad. It's not like I have much longer to live anyways. I just don't want to be in so much pain when my time comes." The woman sighed as she stares at the ceiling with a bored tone. Having severe chronic anemia really sucked when even with all of the fluids and eating the foods that she hated. She constantly needs a blood transfusion almost every month before and after her menstrual cycle. She's embarrassed that it almost feels like as if she's some glass of water or blood that would always "leaks out" thanks to her gender and constantly needs blood to manage the day. She hated how tired she is, she hated how a lot of her peers avoid touching her since she's always "cold" and frail all of the time, and most of all. She hated the annoyance and the pity that her family members would give her when she would at least try to maintain whatever's left of her relationship with them. Even though it almost feels like they're looking forward to her dying so that they can be out of their way.

Thank goodness that the one person who actually valued her worth was Lord Orochimaru himself. Who always offered his reassuring touch, how he didn't alienate her for her condition, and he valued her skills as a shinobi despite her constant need for blood. Specifically AB blood both positive and negative since her body itself seems to somehow reject all other blood types. As and Bs blood only give her half of the iron she needs temporarily while O type blood makes her even more "sick" despite that it's a universal blood that can be given to anyone in the world. An unusual case that Kabuto is also currently looking into.

Kabuto turns to her as he decides that out of respect, he'll put away that certain kind of blood pack that spilled out and he takes out a fresh one just for her, "Don't be ridiculous. You're not going to die, you're just taking your medication, no shame in that. And if you're worried about the blood supply, don't. There's plenty of AB blood for you to use."

"That's not the point. I'm just saying that I'm just tired of being sick and feeling alone all of the time. My other family members are all healthy and fine and they should've also have the same illness as I do, but it seems that I'm the unlucky one out of them. And they love to remind me about how much of a failure to their eyes and yet they have no idea how much me and grandmother have sacrificed for their sake." She said while her hands clench into fists.

"They call you a failure, but they don't have your family's genetic kekki genkai as powerful as yours and your late grandmother. Lord Orochimaru did say that you didn't need to bring them along to take care of them when we recruited you, but you.-" Kabuto's voice was cut off when she gave him a rather annoyed sneer which stopped him from saying what she already knows.

"I know what I said, and I can't go back on my grandmother's promise. They're all ungrateful and spoiled brats, all of them. Only sticking to that false sense of pride of a forgotten clan when we're suffering from fertility issues, our land stolen, financial issues, and genetic blood disorders... like mine. And yet they're all relying on me "the diseased one" to stay afloat."

Kabuto listened to her frustrated rant as he prepares the IV staff next to her and he gets the IV needle ready to be put inside of her arm. "If that is what you're going to stick to, I can't say anymore. I have already told you before that family isn't about being related to someone. Sometimes friends can be trusted and appreciate you more than blood relatives ever could. Just know that Lord Orochimaru does not see any less of you, he sought you out himself after all and you can trust that I'm still working on finding a possible treatment for your blood disorder. I just need more time to find it."

He now injects the needle into her arm and she doesn't flinch or wince at the sudden pain and he allows the blood to flow through the pipe and into her veins, "I'm just saying that, even though we can't replace your family and the bonds that you had with them before your illness changed their views of you, but just know that we won't ever be like them". Sick or not, you're still valuable and precious to Lord Orochimaru. So don't even think about dying, since even selfishly wishing for death only serves as a betrayal of Lord Orochimaru's hopes and his caring feelings for you."

She could only breathe slowly in response to that as the blood was now inside of her veins, and strangely enough, the pale color on her cheeks fades as she starts to look slightly more healthier the more blood goes inside of her. Her thin lips also become plush as they always had been. For her to already recover this fast despite that she would need at least another bag of blood after this one, further shows how unusual her condition is compared to other anemic individuals.

"... You're right. I'm sorry for not thinking of it that way. It was indeed foolish of me to take all of these procedures for granted when Lord Orochimaru has generously has offered his hand to me and to my family and is putting the effort to keep me alive. I guess my family's harsh words and treatment had made me forget that for a moment." She clenches and unclenches her hand as she can feel her body now getting warmer and warmer by the second.

She's slowly feeling alive and her cranky attitude from earlier was also diminishing to that of a submissive docile woman who's family's abuse has taken it's toll on her personality but yet only bound to duty and familial love and devotion towards them.

"If you ask me, you should... "limit" your contact with them in the meantime while also sending them the money for food and other important stuff that they need to keep themselves alive while also forcing them to seek out jobs if they want more money for frivolous expensive crap." That is if that's the kind of relationship you have that is already happening. They don't see you as human, but more like an ATM and someone who brings them free food from the government. You deserve to surround yourself with people who would appreciate and love you." Kabuto replied as he watches the monitor of her health to make sure that everything is going well.

"It's easier said that done when you know that I just... can't do that. But... I'm just so tired of their abuse at this point. Umm... Lord Kabuto. May I ask for a favor from you?" She thinks for a moment while she turns to Kabuto now, "Is it alright if I can spend the night here? I like to get some proper sleep before I return to them."

Kabuto looks at her with his glasses reflecting her pleading yet tired expression and he kindly smiles at her, "Of course you can. You can stay as long as you want here and eat the recommended foods that will be provided to you here, the only thing that me and Lord Orochimaru will not allow is for your family to demand Lord Orochimaru's audience or to stay here with you either. We won't tolerate any of their disrespect or unnecessary fighting, if you get what I mean."

She could only nod despite that she's holding in some tears of joy as more of her condition improves as the blood bag is now half empty.

"Thank you Lord Kabuto."

@lunyraartistry

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

If I may, #1 ("Tell us about your current project(s) – what’s it about, how’s progress, what do you love most about it?" - I am more and more curious about the technobabble you've been posting, haha), #3 ("What is that one scene that you’ve always wanted to write but can’t be arsed to write all of the set-up and context it would need?") and #18 ("Do any of your stories have alternative versions? [...] Tell us about them.")

1."Tell us about your current project(s) – what’s it about, how’s progress, what do you love most about it?"

current project is a thasmissy fic (wait do people even know that portmanteau? ive just been using it. yaz/13/missy) set between revolution and flux. it's basically vault times but with 13 and yaz instead of 12 and bill. it's about coming to terms with trauma and coming to terms with your sexuality i think most concisely put. or in other words i think ive put it like it's about "the things we dont want to touch and the things we DO want to touch". heres the video i made of it last year for anyone who hasnt seen it:

this video took a full month to make and drove me almost insane which makes sense bc editing this fic rn is driving me again insane. just need to finish two more scenes. one of which is the technobabble

it's really fun to do but also takes soooo much time. my favourite tardis wiki page is the tardis components one so im on that a lot, and then ive got a thousand wikipedia pages open about philosophical, linguistic and mathematical concepts and then i try to put words together in a way thats at least superficially a little bit convincing

it's completely incoherent of course but it sounds fun. my browser history looks like this now:

no idea what any of those things actually are <3

3 "What is that one scene that you’ve always wanted to write but can’t be arsed to write all of the set-up and context it would need?"

honestly i dont think i have a lot of those? i think generally my writing process is just that i write the scene i want to write, and either that turns into the whole fic, or i combine it with other scenes i wanted to write and shuffle then all around for a long time until it resembles something like a story. who needs set up? just jump into the medias of res babey

18 "Do any of your stories have alternative versions? […] Tell us about them."

full stories probably not or maybe there were but i dont remember now. but theres a lot of scenes with alternative versions in this thasmissy fic bc i had to puzzle and recut and rewrite a lot until it made the least bit of sense due to aforementioned "shuffle around until it resembles a story" approach

theres one scene where there was a really clear fork in the road where first i went down one route and then i was like 'oh no i cant do this, it breaks the relationship beyond what i want it to' so i had to go back and take the other path. im still fond of that alternative scene because it was also an interesting one i think

it's a scene between yaz and missy and in the cut version yaz said/did something that sort of cemented their dynamic as an echo of what my interpretation is of vault times thoschei, ie that the doctor keeps the master trapped. half physically half emotionally. because i think the master could leave, the vault or 13's tardis in this fic, but emotionally it's more complicated than that. the power the doctor has over them is that they want the doctor's love, especially missy is super overtly driven by that. the master always is but missy is unashamed and almost unresentful of it i think. missy will say "love me" out loud, basically. "i need my friend back" you know?

and what i had yaz do put missy in that same kind of position she is wrt the doctor. and they both immediately realised that and missy was like "youre just like her" and yaz was like "oh shit i fucked up". it's an interesting scene i think because being like the doctor is what yaz wants, right? and being like the doctor is why missy is drawn to her. but yaz doesnt want to replicate the relationship dynamic of the doctor and the master. she wants to be like the doctor but she also has that I Can Fix Her instinct. and i think with missy that is way more important because missy doesnt need another doctor (even though she also wouldnt be interested in someone who wasnt a little bit the doctor, you know? hi clara. i think 12/missy/clara and 13/dhawan/yaz are like two sides of the same coin. the companion a mirror to both the doctor and the master)

[nayfem]

who was the first character out of the runaways you created ? ^^

and who’s your favourite story wise? :) (no spoilers though‼️🙏)

sorry for taking months to answer this, i really wanted to wait until i could do a DEEEEP dive for some files (this is a long post)

to answer your second question: my favorite character story wise is probably Cliff and Grace ?! its a cheat answer cuz i just answers 2 characters but idk i love writing them, their dynamic is so fun and cute, im so excited to post abt their new designs and story teehee

to answer your first question:

these three from around may of 2022!!! theres a fourth, but i cant find the drawing for the life of me. from left to right:

Eurus

Notus

Zephyrus

(Boreas was the forth.)

you might be asking "Hey who the fuck are these people" and that is a valid question because i dont draw them ever!!

the idea for Runaways started with these guys- first as a story about these gods and their family dynamic, but it quickly evolved into a whole world (MCU style) about superheroes.

i wanted to make one comic and then expand- starting with these gods. but as soon as i made the next character in the story... i knew what i had done (brain rot)

although that answers your question, i have more to say (unfortunately)

the comic was going to end with Eurus turning into a villain- a misunderstood villain but a villain nonetheless. she was going to form a found family group and thats when i created a familiar face...

Grace Xu.

actually, Grace came about when i thought of the name Grave Force. i thought Grace suited the name, and she was going to have basically the same powers as Anna today (her skin would put you into a coma.)

but, then i started crafting another character...

Casper Wright! an invisible thief that would steal supplies for the group.

after that, it snowballed into a whole cast of characters, and eventually the wind gods fading into the background and i havent really touched them since.

heres the first ever drawing i did of Anna, when i started figuring out that she was gonna be Grave Force, and not Grace. i quickly figured out i wanted Grace to act as a main character, and started working on the other crew!

Cliff Phoenix when he was still called "Clint"

he was the muscle of the group, with his signature flame thrower. he was kind of a himbo back then, i still see him as a himbo but at least now hes not dumb.

back then, the gadgets the group had were made by Casper, or at least thats what i planned on. i much prefer Cliff being the gadget maker of the group!

this was my first ever draft of everyone together; a quick sketch of their heads and pride flags!

from left to right:

Grace Xu

Casper Wright

Cliff Phoenix (i need to bring back his gray streak </3)

Val Romero

Anna Xu (yes she was a ginger.. and white (Grace was her half sister at this time))

Val was a really interesting character and what i thought would start the comic!! the idea was have the group go to a really fancy party looking for a "kid" in danger.

her name would have either been Psyche! (like haha gotcha) or Mirage. their power was to create a hallucination of sorts- she could make herself appear to be the persons type (either romantically or someone they took pity on) and then rob them lol. thats why the group thought it was a kid- someone saw a child enter a shady car and speed off to a upper class party.

i still wish i couldve found a way to put her in the story. honestly, ive been redoing the Runaways story and designs, and when i work on the villains i'll definitely find a spot for them!!!

thank you for the ask my dear friend, you have increased my brain rot <;3 /pos